I’m bursting with excitement, which is infinitely more satisfying than bursting with chocolate cake and thick icing. My website is amidst creation, AND I will be sharing a glimpse of my branding with you very shortly. Hallelujah (Handel, not Cohen). I’m following that little star on my index finger, and surprise, surprise, it’s leading me right where I’m meant to be. Ponder this one: the more I follow my passion, the less chocolate cake and thick icing I crave.
Finally understanding my passion for coaching is helping me make a lot more sense of my life these days. Thanks to traversing so many wrong paths, I’ve been nervous for the vast majority of my life, but not while I’m coaching. Nope. Coaching sessions are pure joy for me. That’s what happens when we follow our North Star; we turn down the nerves and turn up the inspiration, not to mention the confidence. Although women come to me for myriad reasons, several have shown up lately because they’ve lost their Passion, or because they have yet to find it. I get that. And, I don’t think this is uncommon. Allow me to share a couple of ideas here.
Not everyone will get your gig. Still…I beg you, run, do not walk to download “Better Love” by Hozier. That first note, his voice, and the drums, and the subtle repetitive piano lilt, and that choic and those horns, whatever they are. I can’t even. This song moves me to joy tears. Every time. Naturally, I needed to share this song with my children. And they started talking about things other than the majesty of this song within the first 10 seconds. What? What!!!! I play similar Songs of Passion for my music aficionado bro-in-law; he placates me and tries, and out of respect, doesn’t start talking until at least midway through the song, but he often “gets nothing” from my offerings. And I think to myself, is there no one else with a pulse in this Wonderful World?
But guess what, Passion stirs up differently in all of us. Your passion is not my passion, and let’s thank God for that one. My bro-in-law is Passionate about the guitar greats: Satriani and Vai. Although I don’t get it, I do love seeing him listen to the music and get into it with a zeal that can only be described as utter rapture. (If he were here he would tell you to run, not walk to download “For the Love of God” by Vai). I do not, however, get my BFF’s passion for country music. Flatline. Nothing. Some people like gardening and baking loaves of bread in the middle of the night. Another Flatline. It took me a bit, but I’m OK with the fact that I hate gardening and baking, and it doesn’t make me any less of a Woman than my Dear Friends who do these things with Passion.
Let’s stop by trying to make someone else’s Passion our own. In addition to country music, my BFF is Passionate about Marathons and Iron Mans. Naturally, in my late 20s/early 30s, I tried to force myself into that Passion too. Without fail, my body shouted “Nooo!!!” during my This-Is-Too-Long-For-You-Crystal! training runs. I thought I was smarter than my body back then, so I stuffed those signals down with copious Advil and post-run Tremendous 12s at Perkins. My body still hasn’t forgiven me for that ignorance. Other people’s Passions will never work out for us, even if we try running with their Passion for 26.2 miles. In fact, they may even be injurious to us, but let’s save unpacking that diddy for another time.
Be inspired by Others’ Passions, rather than wishing they were our own. I’m super inspired by that look on James Corden’s face when he sings with the stars in his Carpool Karaoke gig. Run do not walk to YouTube the one with Adele now. I can’t help but marvel at that look of unadulterated joy that lights his face right up to the brim when he sings with the celebs. There was a time in my life when I would actually have been jealous of Dear James. Until about last year I was hoping I would somehow become a singer. I gave it a shot a couple times and nearly died of stage fright. Singing onstage will never be my North Star. If I were in that car I would be so nervous that I would surely puke. Fast forward to now, and that look and his talent both inspire me to delve deeper into my own Passion. Don’t we all want times in our lives when we have that look on our face? A client told me last week that being a life coach would make her so nervous that she would surely puke; her work in research, which lights her up, would make me puke. Too much chocolate cake with thick icing also makes you puke. Takeaway: The things that make you want to puke are likely not your Passion.
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t make it your Passion. By most accounts, I’ve been pretty good at selling pharmaceuticals (the legal ones) and medical devices. However, when I really have to do tasks which are super far from my North Star, like reviewing complicated clinical studies, what shows up is anxiety, an inability to remember the important details of said clinical studies-even though they’re literally in my hand, and a propensity to overeat chocolate cake with thick icing while I’m trying to learn them. These days I find more creative ways to get through them and still do a good job. Don’t beat yourself up if your current career, or parts of it, aren’t totally your Truest Passion. Really, it’s OK. Bring a piece of yourself to that crappy task and remember-you have a life outside of your j.o.b. to explore Passion on your own terms.
Pretender Passions block out our true Passions, and our true selves. I became obsessed with the Foo Fighters in the late 90s because that was then boyfriend’s obsession. Run, do not walk to download “The Pretender” by the Foos. Mr. Crohl is no Hozier, but the intensity of this song is mind boggling. Not coincidentally, the song leaves us with Dave screaming, “Who Are You?” Pretending is the enemy and will kill ya every time. I’ve pretended so hard many so many times in my life it’s no wonder that then boyfriend unceremoniously dumped me. He didn’t know who I was, and neither did I. Pretender Passions aren’t attractive, and will neither attract the right things, nor the right peeps into your life.
Here are a couple o’ questions that may just nudge you in the direction of Finding Your Passion. Think about it…better yet, take five minutes to journal about it.
- What lit you up when you were a kid?
- What in life makes your face look like Dear James’ when he’s singing along with the celebs?
- Is your true passion being blunted out by chocolate cake with thick icing “craving”? Note…it’s not really the chocolate cake you want.
And here’s my favourite:
If time and money were no issue, how would you spend your days? Be bold and share out loud here, or be bold and private message me. I would love to hear from you!
IMPORTANT NOTE: My pro bono coaching hours are coming to a close at the end of October. I’m particularly looking to work with women who have messed up relationships with food and the world of dieting. Does that sound like you? Let’s chat. Private message me to arrange a consult. Don’t let geography stop you! I work over Skype/FaceTime and occasionally in person. If you live in or around Winnipeg you can opt to join me in my special coaching space in my home…but only if you’re willing to meet Derek, my one-balled Wiener Dog Wonder. Please only contact me if you’re serious about doing some real work, you’re willing to invest in yourself, authentically show up for sessions, be on time, and do some homework.